I Can See Clearly Now…

On this, my 5th day of cleansing on the Crazy Sexy Adventure Cleanse, I am coming out of my fog. Though it is still not easy.

This is the first weekend morning of the cleanse. Most weekend mornings begin with Bal bringing me up to bed a delectably strong Americano (yes, I am spoiled!) Today, he brings me a hot water with lemon and a pinch of cayenne. (should have been a dash cuz his pinch is strong!) Just not the same but I drink it, shower, and head downstairs to make my morning juice.

Before heading down the stairs, I am absolutely convinced that Bal rudely decided to make pancakes. I could smell them! It haunted me. But no, there was nothing going on downstairs except some peanut butter toast for the girls.

So into the kitchen I head with the lid of the PB jar off and PB calling my name. Cover. Breathe. Pull out the veggies. Today’s juice? Carrot, cucumber, parsley, tomato, kale. It looked revolting to be honest but tasted delish. Really!

Awhile later Bal decides to take the girls for a swim so I drop them off and head to the store to buy more vegetable along with ingredients for tonights dinner, Curried Lentils and Quinoa with Spinach and Warm Indian Spices. Sounds good right? I will let you know.

While shopping, my stomach starts gurgling. I need some real food, not just juice. Shopping for snack foods for the girls and passing chip aisles and brownies do not help my cause. But I’m a mom and I do what I have to do. Beets and radishes for me, yogurt pretzels and fishy crackers for the girls. The cart looks rather schizophrenic actually.

After getting home and putting away all the groceries, it is finally time for me to eat! Pulling out the rice crackers, I lather them with hummus and load up with spinach, tomato and cucumber.

Looking good!

So good that I don’t even take the time to grab a plate to go sit down to eat. No, I just scoop one up right where I am standing, lift the tasty goodness that is satisfyingly crunchy food, put it up to my lips, and before I can take my first bite,


A text has come through. From Bal.

We’re done. Come get us.

Seriously? Seriously! How do they know? I don’t just want to eat people, I need to eat. Listen, I knew that the kids must have been grumpy and hungry to have had such a quick swim, but I am cleansing and I don’t give a shit. Daddy will have to deal.  I text back a haughty,

About to eat. Distract them. Give me 10.

He buys them a snack to wait, I eat (with no guilt even) and all is right with the world.

After getting them and returning home, hunger grumbles still persist, so I have carrots, peas, and green peppers dipped in Hummus. Yummus!

2pm has been my crashing point all week. Today I decide I can treat myself to a Soy Chai Latte from Starbucks. Until remembering that Chai is black tea. Damn. But have no fear my friends, I whip up a Rooibos Tea Misto of my own using Almond Milk and it is freakin amazing.

A shaky morning but feeling great this afternoon. Lots of energy, clear-headed, and hope that it will only get better.

5 days without coffee… I am a superstar!!


Cleansing Doom Days

Since my brother and some friends are curious about my cleanse, I thought I’d post updates on my progress, recipes, cheats and the like. Basically, the cleanse calls for no meat, dairy, gluten, refined sugar, or processed carbs. Oh, and no caffeine and alcohol. Fun!  Days 1-3 sucked ass but please note that day 4 was good and day 5 (today) is even better.

Days 1-3 (2 & 3 especially) left me foggy, listless, and exhausted. Like the first trimester of pregnancy exhausted. Like, could not make a fist exhausted. The Crazy Sexy Diet book suggests that ‘you may feel ‘fatigued’. Try bone-weary or knackered.

I did not take any notes on the first 4 days, but here, from what I can recall in my haze, is what transpired.

Day 1 and I cheat. I decide I may need to ease into this no coffee nonsense so I make one final coffee hurrah! Only I use my bodem. And make it way too strong. So that instead of being a loving goodbye it is a wretched gag. I maybe drink half and only because I know it is the last time.

Cheat #2. There is no way I am making dinner. I can not move. Bal steps in and makes pasta, a meaty sauce with garlic bread for him and the girls, a tomato, veggie-loaded sauce for me. The pasta was not gluten free however. Baby steps…

Day 2. From what I remember I made the Green Juice from the Crazy Sexy Diet book. It was okay. Fortunately, I had signed Brennyn up for a Kindermusik class on this day so I got out of the house with other people that I had to be polite (if not cheery) around. We danced and sang and banged (Brennyn stole the music sticks from me or I totally would have introduced heavy metal to the toddler set!) then headed off with friends for lunch. There is a fabulous cafe in town that provides a ton of vegan-friendly dishes and I oh so happily indulged in a gluten-free Soba Noodle Veggie Bowl. Huge, filling and delicious!

Unfortunately, this did not stop me from absolutely crashing by 1pm. The sun was shining in the bedroom so I sat at it to catch some Vitamin D and totally crashed for as long as Brennyn did, and only managed to get up because I had to go get Kaya from school.

Dinner was up to Bal again. Fried rice with no egg and tons of veggies.

Mint tea that evening to combat cold and cravings.

Fast asleep by 9:30pm!

Day 3 doesn’t fare much better. Mornings are okay. Juices are good and pretty filling but definitely hungry by noon. Veggies dipped generously in hummus that is sprinkled with Holy Crap cereal (love this stuff but Holy Crap is it ever expensive!)

Somehow I find enough energy to make dinner tonight but all I really remember is maniacally laughing (think Wicked Witch of the West) at adding 2 TBS white wine into my dressing mixture. My only cheat of the day though one I enjoyed immensely even though I couldn’t actually even taste the wine!

More tea, more sleep by 9:30pm.

Day 4 and I see a light. Less fog of the brain, more energy. Still, I wake up starving and decide today I will do a smoothie instead of juice. I add a wee bit of yogurt to get the texture right but add some spinach to counter balance my a slight dairy cheat.

Dr Oz’s blueberry avocado smoothie is recommended!

Lunch is corn krisps, hummus and veggies and the 2pm crash is lessened with herbal tea and some almonds. The rest of the day goes well until I realize it’s Friday night and how can one do Friday night without wine? The book tells me that if I’m going to cheat then having a couple squares of 70%+ dark chocolate is a reasonable way to do it.

So I do it.

Stay tuned for Day 5.