Lessons in First Aid

We went to a family fair this past weekend. We were given a bag full of flyers and promos and discounts.

This flyer was in there.
At first I thought it was a joke. But no, it is a serious First Aid flyer. Since it’s here, it would stand to reason that people actually do the wrong scenarios. Only, who?

1. Who buries their child in a shopping cart and tosses cans on them? Do they toss them on the conveyor belt too? And if so, why would you pay for something you got for free in the first place?

If they are going to do a Don’t, mine would be a picture of Brennyn and I today. She is in the front seat part, not belted, throwing her boots onto the veggies, while I grab an orange, peel it, and feed it to her. Unpaid. Then I grab a cheese bread and she leaves a trail through the store rather than eat it. As I unload the groceries that I am actually going to pay for, she tries to ‘help’ me which results in fruit rolling on the floor that I pick up and still buy. Yah, DON’T do that.

2. Who stuffs their child in a regular backpack and what, goes off for a hike? Or is the Don’t just that the backpack doesn’t have back support?

3. Seatbelts are not to be worn overtop of noses or toeses… Yah, that would be, like, totally uncomfortable… (?)

4. No pretending you are ‘The Claw’ from Toy Story 3. Or a Mighty Machine.

What the hell? I do not even want to ponder that these things do happen but if they do, I would hope that they are extremely rare. And that perhaps the first aid flyer could be more beneficial to the majority of us out there who are good, though not perfect, parents.

Things like installing car seats properly, ensuring straps fit, keeping a first aid kit on hand, and what should be in the first aid kit.

Or how about the perfect ‘kiss the boo-boo all better’ scene. Through trial and error I can tell you

DO give a soft kiss (or like a hundred soft kisses) on booboo (even if you, yourself, can not see it) followed up with an application of whatever cutesy bandaid of the month is in your house (even if there is no blood whatsoever)

DO NOT say ‘Suck it up sister’ no matter how tiny the infraction that turns into a full blown dramatic scene of impending death. Questioning ‘Again?’ or ignoring or placing the bandaid before the kiss all fall in the DO NOT category.

That’s it, I’m totally off to make my own flyer…


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