Two years ago I was willing you out, bargaining with Time to move faster. Two years fast forward and Time and I need to have a serious discussion about S L O W I N G D O W N.
Not that you’ll help me out with that. For you, bigger and faster is better.
Just look at you biking. Months before turning two and you’re flying on the run bike. Speed and balance of a 4-year-old, sense and judgement of a two-year-old. Meaning no rock face, cliffside, roadway or tree stump is above attempting. No fear with no sense makes for one tired mamma!
And this is not for biking alone. No, you want to run around, hop stones, climb mountains, anything really if it means keeping up with the big kids. Just last month we camped at Alice Lake with friends. Behind our camp was a fairly steep hill that the kids were running up and down ‘Bear Hunting’. You kept trying to keep up. Kept scaling that mountain. Only I kept coming with you. Much to your chagrin.
At one point all the kids draw a line and tell me “Kids Only! No adults allowed!” So when I try to scoop you up to take you back down with me, you turn at me, brush my hands away and insist “I’m KID!” In other words, leave me the hell alone Mom!
Regardless, my job is to keep you safe so I take you back down the hill. Which of course, does nothing to stop you. Next time I look over, there you are, near the top of the hill at the front of a line of about 6 big kids, leading the pack. Rylan has set you up as leader, and being the oldest, all the kids listen to him willingly. You get to lead. They all march behind. You have never been more delighted in your life.
While my instinct is to take you back down off that steep incline, my Mamma awe lets you lead. These are the dilemma’s of parenthood. Keep you safe or keep your face alit with pride, fun and freedom.
That joy thing usually wins.
Sometimes leading to spills along the way.But nothing that a Mamma’s kiss can’t cure. I love that you trust my kisses heal you so fully. Genuine belief that your hurt feels better with a little Mamma Magic. Oh how I wish that were so forever.
Well, the “Nonononono…” tantrums disappeared for a few months. But they are back. With the addition of a scowly pout, folded arms in defiance, and a mad dash race away from me. Terrible Two’s have arrived I see. Sigh.To be fair though, most of the stuff coming out of your mouth right now is happy and hilarious!
One of your first real sentences happens to be one of the funniest things you’ve ever said. We are leaving a store when a Harley zooms by. Pointing and gasping with glee,
“Cool man, motorbike!”
From ‘BuggyFly’ chases to ‘OH CANA!’ sing-a-longs, you are not shy in speaking your mind. You loved the Canucks playoff run (oh so close!), singing our anthem and cheering “Go Anugs Go!” while waving flags and towels. Just as you loved cheering for Mommy racing her first Half-Marathon running me to the finish line and waving your big ‘GO DADDY GO!’ sign for Daddy’s Test of Metal race.
We do not enter or leave a store without you waving and yelling “HI!” or “BYE!”
“Look at me!” your eyes scream, “I’m cute!”
And you are.
You are very fortunate to be a younger sister. Oh the things big sister has to teach you! Things that mamma’s don’t have the time or foresight to even consider, Kaya’s got you covered.You adore her attention, hanging on her every word, attempting her every action. Parents often remark how the ‘poor second child’ gets the hand-me-downs and less attention than the first does. This may be true but it is more than made up for with the added love and play that a sibling provides. Watching you two interact and love each other up, well, it fills my soul. (Let us ignore for the moment the sisterly battles that have begun. Oh how they have begun…)
Daddy says his favourite thing about you right now is your back pat and I have to agree. It is pure B Magic. Leaning in hard, you tuck one hand between our bodies and wrap the other one tightly around my back. Head laying on my shoulder, you smile and pat “Pat back Mommy!”
Meditation teaches focus on the breath for bringing yourself back into the moment. But for me, presence arrives with that pat.
You get this. This be in the moment thing. And you try to teach me it. At the first glimpse of annoyance or anger from me for spilled food, broken toys or tantrums, you circumvent any forthcoming lectures or time-outs by running up, batting those lashes and asking “Huggy Mommy?!” Whereby you launch into my arms and begin to pat.
My meditation coach. Ironic really, since you don’t stop moving.
With that my love, I leave you with a quote. One that I read and immediately sensed was you. Kind of zen and motorbiker chic at the same time:
She knows not where she’s going
For the ocean will decide-
It’s not the destination,
But the glory of the ride.”
Cool Man, Brennyn Claire, Cool.
With Love and Laughter (& No Monsters!),