My heart thumps fiercely. My fingers clench tightly. My leg fidgets in anticipation.
All because Kaya and her ballet class are up next in the Cinderella dance recital. Nerves are worse here than the starting line of my Half-Marathon or the first contractions hitting.
Because, I suppose, it is out of my control. It is up to Kaya now. Up to my sweet, shy girl to stand up on that stage and dance.
Clasping her friends hands on either side, she enters the stage with her class. Lights blare on. Kaya’s eyes, like a deers in the headlights, stares somewhat shell-shocked out into the audience. It takes every ounce of will in me to not stand up and yell “Mamma’s here Baby!” but before that thought is even fully formed, she has recovered, she smiles, and she twirls.
My girl does more than dance friends. She shines.
Don’t tell me that is simply Mamma bias, for a Gammy, Daddy and Sister will tell you the same thing…
What a feeling it is to watch your girl up there, completely out of her comfort zone, yet loving it. Out of her comfort zone in front of tons of people, but totally in her zone as she spins, skips and sways.
Her smile, her joy up there, fill me.
Pride doesn’t seem adequate to describe it.
More like a delicous swirl of pride, relief, wonder, and joy mixed, then sprinkled, with giggles (and a pinch of tears). The best dessert you could ever imagine.
I follow her and that smile around the stage, glowing at her glowing. Fully present to her moment on stage, not blinking for the entirety.
Then she is off. And I can exhale.
She did it!
And I get to watch it all again for the 7pm show. This time with her Daddy. And since I saw it once already, I allow myself to break my gaze at her for the tiniest of moments so I can watch Bal watching our girl. His eyes, his smile and laugh and fidgety legs mirror my own and I know he has been served the same dessert as me.
All pictures are actually from the dress rehearsal. No video or flash photography at the performance which was actually fantastic, for it allowed me to immerse myself in the show, not the capturing of the show!
Dress Rehearsal’s are for working out the kinks right? Kaya getting some direction on those pointed toes! Thank you to my friend Kristin (and fellow nervous/excited/joyful mamma watching her gorgeous Kamille!) for capturing these awesome performance shots! Mine were blurry and brutal!
So, so proud of you my girl. A dancing mouse doubling as the shiniest of stars, whirling and twirling and glittering up the stage. Awesomeness.