Motherisms

When I was a kid there were certain things my mom said that irked me. That had me rolling my eyes with the absolute knowledge that my mom, and only my mom, was totally lame.

What I didn’t comprehend was that she was most likely rolling her eyes at herself spouting such lame comments. I get it now. Unable to stop yourself even though you cringe even as they are coming out.

Things like:

“Too bad so sad.” Kaya hates this one. So do I. Yet I continue to blurt it out with regularity.

“Oh Kaya, you know better than that…” Well, actually she doesn’t. She’s learning, growing, processing. She’s 4. Distractions and mistakes and accidents are a preschoolers right. Yet it still comes out of my mouth more than it should.

Kaya was awesome on Mother’s day as long as it meant she got to eat the cupcake she made for me, have the flowers she got me where she wanted them, display her art to me in her room and drag me to the park instead of have a photography session in front of the cherry blossoms that was my wish. Normal for a 4-year-old and truthfully, I’m thrilled to share my cupcakes and flowers with her. Then Kaya says this,

“When is kids day?”

Whereby I respond with the greatest cringe-worthy answer of all “Everyday is kids day!” Sooo, a mom thing to say (aka- OLD person). But it is true. And I am now that old person who truly believes everyday is kids day, even as the kid in me rolls her eyes and sticks out her tongue at the lameness of it all.

Similarly,  yesterday I hear Brennyn and Kaya coming down the stairs as I’m in the kitchen cleaning.

“Brennyn, NO su-su’s or blankies PLEASE!”

Shocked that they are nowhere near me, yet still knew Brennyn had both in hand, Kaya gasps “How did you know?”

Cue Can’t-Help-Myself-Momism “Because I’m a Mommy and mommies know everything!”

Before I even manage to finish that sentence Kaya jumps in with a “But I know more than you!”

So I guess that kids believing their parents really do know everything only lasts till they’re 4 then. Damn, I totally thought I had a few more years for that one.

Finally, my ultimate annoying Momism which I say more than the rest and despise EVERY single time it exits my mouth,

“Don’t be silly.”

Because damn woman, the whole point is to be silly. Especially at 4. Ideally at 35 too. My goal from this moment forth, every time I say this ludicrous statement, I must follow it up with a correction “No, do be silly. Always!” and then do some silly thing myself. I’ll let you know how it goes.

So all you moms reading this, think back at your own momisms and ask yourself if your words are beneficial or just plain lame. Why bother? you wonder.

Because I said so, that’s  why.”

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