If you are running and are going to have a spectacular fall that has you contorting your body in a twisted, angular crash on the side in order to save the iPhone (must save the iPhone), at the very least a spectacular bruise could appear as well. To enhance the story. Give me some bragging rights. Not nothing dammit.
Nope, not a mark to bolster the dramatics of my tale. Not a scratch, bruise, bump or lump.
If you look really closely, you’ll see a battered ego. And if you take a jaunt around the pond where I fell, I am pretty certain you will still hear the echoing shrill of horror and shame as I fall, the thud of impact, and the rustling leaves of fast feet launching myself up so as to not be busted.
Nobody bares witness that I know of. Except my dog. Who I swear giggles the whole way home.
But just because nobody sees, doesn’t mean I am still not humbled. Especially since just as I am starting my limp home, Gorillaz’ Feel Good Inc. starts playing. If you don’t know it, please click on the link and listen to the first 30 seconds. You will understand my chagrin when you hear that evil laughter. Worse than my mom’s evil witch voice.
Why am I subjecting myself to this running nonsense again? Baby weight, health, blah-blah… I can think of much better things a contorted, twisted body could be doing. Jeeeeez…