On Bad Days

The exact same things that have me in awe of my kids one day, drive me absolutely insane the next. Yes, there are countless poetic quotes about how a situation is only positive or negative depending on my own perspective. Choose to see the positive and that is what it will be. Blah, blah. These people do not have two snotty-nosed whiny, temper-tantruming children to deal with obviously.

What yesterday was dogged determination in Brennyn, today is stubborn inflexibility. While yesterday I am endeared by Kaya’s sensitive soul, today I am at my wits end at her whining over-sensitivity.

She cried over the Wii Fit’s tightrope walking game for God’s sake! The Mii cries when starting to get off balance and this, oh yes this, made Kaya cry. Seriously. And forget about sword-fighting with her mommy. When she sent me barreling over the edge of the platform we are ‘fighting’ on, she vehemently starts shaking her head saying ‘No, I don’t like this one mommy” with eyes as moist as a rainforests dewy dawn. She won for crying out loud! But alas, that to her, is not fun. Not at all.

Oh well, best quit anyways as Brennyn is pouncing upon the nunchuk. Not even a head plant into the too dirty floor is going to stop her. Nor the fact that she can not yet crawl. She is just going to shimmy, reach, squirm, claw her way to it. And if that doesn’t work? Scream. Relentlessly.

About to lose my temper, I stop, breathe, and look at my two girls.

Whereby I immediately see myself in them. So different yet so much of me. In both of them. No wonder they’re driving me so crazy. They are mirroring my own issues. With Kaya, I see myself as a girl. Shy, scared to speak up for fear of getting it wrong. With Brennyn, well she knows what she wants when she wants it and when you have two of us as certain about what we want when we want and those wants do not match, well, let’s just say we do not need a Wii console to do our fighting.

Do any enlightened people have children? Oprah doesn’t. Do any of her enlightened guests? The Secret writer? Eckhart Tolle? Cheryl Richardson? Hmmm, I can’t find any info online. I am thinking not. Since having children brings up every issue you’ve ever dealt with from childhood to now and throws it in your face to deal with. Again. Why didn’t that come up in any of the baby books? Shit. I am in big, big trouble come teenage years.

Oh, is that why my mother and I fought so much during those years? Because we are so similar? Oh shit.

Are these revelations what they call enlightenment? Because I was sort of hoping more of a ‘I envision the winning lotto numbers and thus KaZam, the winning lotto numbers shall appear!’


Ah shit.


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