It is Christmas morning. Besides floor piano’s, a ton (said literally) of presents, and stockings over-floweth, Kaya looks up at the skylight to remark “Look everyone, a birdie pooped!”
Sure enough, a big, gooey gob of poop is splattered in the middle of our roof window.
But Gampa quickly remarks “Or it was a reindeer.”
And just like that, Magic. Kaya’s mouth didn’t speak but everything else about her spoke magic. A reindeer on her roof… And it pooped! Could Christmas be any cooler?
Every day since, she remarks on the poop with glee and giggles. Then there is me, the Mama Grinch, just hoping it will rain soon so I don’t have to look at it any more (and don’t have to clean it myself).
Kaya and I are having a cuddle on the couch.
“I had a poop by myself!” said proudly mostly because she then came out of the bathroom with her pants back on instead of left stranded on the floor by the toilet which she know irks me to no end.
“Good for you!” I encourage.
“Just like the reindeer!” and she points up. Dammit, I wonder, will it ever rain…
“Why’d the reindeer poop mommy?”
“Because everybody eats and then everybody poops.” I don’t know what else to say.
“Oh. Girls and reindeer’s poop?” said as if boys are not cool enough to.
“Everybody. Boys and doggies and birdies too.” Just to be clear.
“And Santa too!”
“Yes, Santa too. Though not generally on skylights.”
I would like to apologize on behalf of my daughter who left you some snacks on Christmas eve. As a mother it is a fine line between teaching independent choice and guiding to a ‘better way’. Darned those Rang Doon Rubies, but judgment eluded me on that night and suddenly it became a very good idea to let Kaya choose your snacks. True, spicy chicken wings, banana peppers, ginger cookies, potato chips and partially drank McDonalds apple juice are all good on their own, but perhaps together, as a snack combo, not so much. I hope you weren’t starving. And if you were, I hope the next house had a convenient washroom with a silent flush (and perhaps a plunger) at the ready.
Anyways Santa, next year I promise to guide her in a better choice. Wings and beer perhaps? Or are you more a fine wine and cheese sort of chap? Let me know!
Love, Kaya and her Mommy
PS. Kaya did not want to get on your naughty list so told me she did not want me to bring this up, so I guess you can just keep me on the naughty list instead. Could you please schedule a damn potty break for Vixen next year.? Or at least have Rudolph clean up the mess. Much appreciated. XOX