Sugar Cookies and Coal

I am giddy with Christmas joy right now. Oh sure, that may be the Bailey’s talking but whatever. Christmas totally means being loaded before 9am. Doesn’t it?

Giddiness means that I have no cohesive thought structure. Bear with me while I record ‘must remembers’.

“I didn’t know snowman’s had bums…” said without a snowman in site which makes me presume she had been pondering this point for quite some time. That, my dear friends, is what they call an ‘epiphany’.

***

Brennyn is still all dude. ‘Like Dude, I am sooo into these eggnog lattes. Easy on the nutmeg though.” I’m pretty sure that is what she said. I was too busy screaching and flailing the keyboard full of spilled eggnog latte around (care of grabby hands) trying to dry it out to notice the exact semantics. Forensic evidence shows gum ‘bites’ on the desk edge and minimal (though some may say significant) ingestion of spilled drink by 5.5 month old female baby. 24 hours later now and stickiness has ensued. Letters F-R-E-D require Hulk Hogan style strength to type out. Brennyn thinks this is funny. Until I start calling her FRED as a new nickname. Marginally better than her latest name of Gorgy-Goo however.

***

I ‘interviewed’ Kaya yesterday on video. Stealing one of Dr. Phil’s Christmas traditions and interviewing the kids every year. Seems like a great way to humiliate them later in life when they like to torture their mother daily with potty mouths, grouchiness and dating all the ‘bad’ boys. Anyways, my favourite part this year is when she tells me she would sit on the Grinch’s lap.

Santa? Hell no.

Like I said, bad boys…

***

A conversation in the car on the way to Winter Solstice in the city:

Mommy?

Yes Kaya?

I love you!

I love you too sweetie.

Daddy?

Yes Kaya?

You’re not a girl.

Um, no.

And just like that, dejection.

***

The river is hungry Daddy.

Oh really? What does the river eat?

Carrots.

***

WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS…

AND A HAPPY NEW EAR!

(Apparently the old one was twisted off by Mr. Claus for being naughty…)

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