Family Forest

My family tree looks more like the Amazonian rainforest. No more the linear lineage, most of us now have a tangled, interspersed, messed up sort of family history. Divorce, step, half, ex, adopted, shunned, runaway, hideaway, mixed-race…

This month Kaya received her Chirp magazine and its theme was Grandparents. Inside is a tree, a family tree. With one boy and his parents and his parents parents. So sweet. So not our family. So I try to skip this page as I don’t want to explain our family tree and why this boy has 4 grandparents and Kaya has 5, with one more passed away. I don’t want to explain how that happened.

Too bad for me then when Kaya comes up and asks “Who’s mommy’s mommy?” I tell her it’s her Gammy. “Who’s mommy’s daddy?” and I can see by the look on her face that she thinks she already knows the answer. But she doesn’t. “Grampa.” I say. She crinkles her brow. “You mean Gampa.” Shit.

Once upon a time there was a boy and a girl who fell in love but they were young and stupid. They got married and had a beautiful baby and named her Kari.

“That’s you Mommy!”

Yes, and then they decided to have another baby and that was Uncle Craig.

“Uncle Craig take me to the zoo and the aquarium and he’s a big scawy monster!!”

Yes and then the mommy and daddy did not love each other any more.

“You don’t love daddy?”

No, I mean yes I do, no not this mommy and daddy but mommy’s mommy and daddy.

“Gammy and Gampa!”

No, Gammy and Grampa. They’re the stupid young ones that had mommy and uncle. So they got divorced which means they don’t live together. And then that daddy, Grampa, met Gramma and fell in love and he wasn’t stupid anymore and they got married and then they had another baby and that is Auntie Kinzy.

“I love Auntie Kinzy. She does wakeboarding!”

And Gammy fell in love with Gampa. And well, umm, no, they never got married but pretty much they’re married. Like mommy and daddy… No, they never had another baby but Gampa has a baby with another woman and his name is Uncle Justin only you haven’t met him yet…

Do you want a freezie?


I pick a freezie in November on purpose.

  1. It is her favourite treat that she drops ANYTHING for.
  2. I am hoping for Freezie Brain Freeze that works much like shot night in college. You forget EVERYTHING about the day.

So far so good. Mostly because I’ve been dodging her. But one of these days I’m going to have to get really brave, pick up a machete and hatchet our way through the vines, bush and poisonous plants and show her the path that is our family rainforest.


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