Congratulations! You Have Won a Lifetime of Pay-as-You-Go Therapy Sessions!

Some days are great parenting days. Like today. I have coloured and crafted and created Rice Bin Treasure Hunts all with pleasure and purely in the moment.

But not all days are like this. This past week has not been at all like this.

Like yesterday when Dr. Phil had a woman interviewing a nanny for her 3 month old. She asked “What would you do to stimulate a child at 3 months?”

“OH, OH I KNOW, I KNOW! PICK ME, PICK ME!” I scream to the TV with my own 3 month old in my lap. “Lay on the couch with a really hot coffee in one hand, the baby in the other and watch Dr Phil!” Yes. I totally got that one.

That may be a slightly better answer then the one I gave to Kaya the other day. She wakes up from her nap, runs to me happily but once she gets to me her face drops and she asks “Where’d Brennyn go?” Since her answer to anything that I may be looking for (her socks, her boots, her lunch bag, her hat, etc) is that the monster ate it, I say very seriously “The monster ate her.” Her face goes white and she looks completely horrified. “Haha!” I quip “Just joking!” Her face tells me that she is not impressed and that was not at all funny, now please show me my baby so I can make sure no harm has come to her while I napped- gawd…

Speaking of gawd, when Kaya excitedly called for me to come to the potty, I may have broke and yelled out in a fit of impatience and yuckiness, “Oh my God, do I have to look at your Poo every single time you have a bowel movement?!” I was just so done with the applauding of poo. Is it just me?

My favourite bad parenting honour goes to Bal this week though.

“What’s that Daddy?”

“It’s a Jujube. It’s just like a vitamin!”

This is just about as good as Bal’s version of the food pyramid. 5 food groups be damned. Bal’s consists of 2. Rice and meat. Which is why Kaya will not eat ice cream (dairy), carrot cake(vegetable) or a banana split (fruit). Good thing she will eat her jujubes! Errr, I mean vitamins…

If she has eating issues later in life, I am so reminding Bal of this infinite piece of wisdom.

But we’ll have enough to remind each other of. HOT sun shades, morning cartoons, McDonalds play area just so Mommy can get in some air conditioning…

Oh so many mistakes to make, so little time. I try not to hold any regrets. I like to look forward.

And imagine how many times ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ are mentioned in their future therapy sessions. The ones that we will NOT be paying for.


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