Come on baby! Doesn’t this seem like a good day for a birthday? Mommy is tired and ready to meet you.
Oh god I’m sick of this. I woke up this morning so negative. I just want baby out of me already. So now I feel horrible for feeling almost resentful. Is that terrible? I’m all like “Come on already, your sister arrived right on time. Mucous plug came out in one fell swoop. Contractions started an hour later. No waiting. No anticipation. No, well is this it? No this is it. No, now really this is it. Sigh.” So now I am left wondering, is this child destined to forever be compared to its sibling? Kaya was/is so good. Easy. What if this baby is miserable or colicky or just a plain menace?
Everything is ready. I am ready. Kaya is ready. Time to start this next stage of our life already. What I really want to say is ‘time to start the next stage of our life for fucks sake’. When the Starbucks barista laughs at my belly and comments I must be due any day now, I laugh and tell her I’m overdue, yes I want real caffeine and oh by the way, Fuck You. I don’t say that of course. But I want to. Just because I feel like it, not because she deserved it. When Daddy asks me this morning if I feel anythings going to happen, I grumble “No. Fuck off.” This I did say and not even with a good morning first. Maybe that’s why you’re not coming. You’re scared of your potty-mouthed mother.
Sorry baby. Your mommy is not all happiness and cheer 24-7. But you know that already don’t you. I hope I haven’t wrecked you in there. So much stress in my life the past 9 months with you in there. Kaya never had to deal with that. Will it effect your temperment? Is that why you’re in no rush to come out?
Do you know how excited we all are to meet you? I already love you completely but it’s so much easier to express that love once you’re here. With cuddles and feedings and comforts. And you’re even luckier, you have a sister to smother you in ‘huggles’ (Kaya’s latest made up word).
Maybe it’s all the pressure stopping your from arriving. Visits from Gammy then Gampa and Lola and Uncle Gerald and so many calls and emails and chats demanding to know where baby is. Maybe you’re all indignant and stubborn “I’ll come in my own time people.” or maybe you just think it’s hilarious. Or you’re just super cozy and it takes you awhile to wake up and get moving (much like your mommy and sister actually). Maybe you’re just not ready.
But oh baby, mommy is ready. Anytime you are my love. Anytime…
It’s gorgeous out today. Not a cloud in the sky. It’s a beautiful day to be born.