You know what manufacturers of goods? I know what is and is not a choking hazard. I know what is not suitable for my 17 month old. I know not to leave the plastic wrapping lying around.

These are the things I did not know. These are the disclaimers I would like to see:

*Buy only if child plays alone. Loud, obnoxious, singing toy is extremely harmful to adult human ears.

*Rubber Ducky floats but not upright. Written explanation of ‘Dead Duck’ included with purchase!

*This 49.99 organic cotton, natural die adorable dolly from mommy will most certainly be discarded in favour of the 9.99 fluorescent pink polyester creature (not sure what it is) from your third cousin twice removed (whatever that means).

*Book is cute now but by the 3,263rd time reading it the snuggle puppy will not be so fine. Nothing even close to fine.

*fancy (& expensive) snacks shaped as bunnies or cartoon characters will be eaten. But Cheerios rock kids world.

*As cute as I am this toy will most likely land at the bottom of the toy box. Mommy’s purse, daddy’s hat, keys, remote controls, dish cloths, spatulas, and your time will occupy child for hours (& days & years). Free and fun!


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