1. Spa Day
2. A massage
3. Bubble Bath
4. A good book
6. To hear “Mommy…” in glee instead of as a whine.
7. A night out (a real one with no kids)
8. A reliable, certified well trained babysitter
9. To get loaded on crantini’s hangover free
11. Hand-written Christmas cards from lots of friends and family
12. Peace (on earth and at home)
13. A chick flick watched uninterrupted
14. A Christmas photo with all the kids smiling facing the camera
15. Debt-free holidays
16. The perfect gift for everyone
17. A maid
18. Quality time with the family
19. ‘Special’ coffee and/or hot chocolate
20. 8 hours consecutive sleep for the whole month
21. A Christmas party to dress up for too look and feel gorgeous
22. Laundry service
23. A snow-filled magical day on the slopes
24. Everyone to get along
What we get:
1. A day spent taxiing everyone else everywhere else
2. A couple jabs and kicks in the back from a kid who had a nightmare and is now taking over your bed.
3. A lysol bathtub scrub
4. Sears Christmas catalogue circled and prioritized
6. “Momomomomomom…” whined and cried and whimpered.
7. A night out watching the kids holiday recital
8. A teenager who’s more interested in Beauty and the Geek than your child who just fell down the stairs and bonked their head.
9. To get loaded on beer (that’s all that was in the fridge) and a killer headache
10. Chocolate and weight gain
11. An email or two wishing a Happy Holidays and spammed recipe exchanges
12. Chaos (on earth and at home)
13. An action movie that takes 4 hours and 26 minutes to watch after all pauses, interruptions and breaks
14. A Christmas photo with a Santa in sandals, nobody facing the camera and a tear soaked red face from all the bellowing at scary Santa
15. Debt, debt and more debt
16. “But I wanted that!” or “I hate this!” or “Why didn’t I get it in this colour?” or tears
17. Slush, dirt, pine tree needles, sap, orange peels, sparkles, bows and snow dragged throughout the house.
18. Quality time with cashiers and retail salespeople
19. Cold ‘special’ coffee and hot (cold) chocolate
20. 8 hours sleep total for the whole month
21. A Christmas party you can not attend because the babysitter killed the last child she watched so you figure you’d best stay home in your PJ’s
22. Many tons of candy-coated laundry
23. A slushy stomp through the parking lot of the mall and a standstill on the highway after a multi-vehicle crash
24. Fights and squabbles and arguments Oh My!
25. A Blurr