Like, Totally Intellectual Dude

I am well aware that my blog is not entirely intellectual. Mommy mayhem trumps political debates or financial analysis anyday. Still, looking at my visitor traffic referrals leaves me completely humbled at the inane quality of my life.

Since Sunday, Oct 21st, this is what has led people to my blog. Usually they depart as fast as they came. But occasionally, some piece of finely crafted words (something along the lines of- ‘Then I am going to zerbert a raw chicken that has been laying in the DANGER ZONE for more than 2 hours. Only then will I shoot myself’ draw them in and they stay awhile. I only wish they had to google out their departing thoughts as they exit my blog. Now that would be funny! So here, without further adieu, the wise words of the internet public as they Google their way to my own very wise and oh so intellectual blogged words:

How to make homemade green puke (Why?)

Bloating from snot (What?!)

Gas, bloated, moody (Ah yes…)

Supposed to be ‘glowing’ pregnant (note the supposed to be!)

Many, many variations of: Beyonce Booty (beyonce booty, beyonce bootylicious, beyonce butt crack, shake that booty beyonce, the round booty of beyonce…)

Kaya is so annoying (note: i do not believe i have ever actually said this even if, now and then, i may have, possibly, maybe just a little, thought it so I do not know how this was directed to me! No sireee.)

Dark green poo (Ewww)

Moody chick (Go figure.)

What to do with leftover porkchops (Throw one in the back of the car just in case you’re stuck in traffic. Much better than Doritos!)

“enormous breasts” bra. (poor person, thinking they were coming to me for some great help and advice only to find that I am a 34smallB who happens to be engorged with breast milk taking me up to a whopping 36C)

Snoozy bear (as opposed to one charging you)

Butt crack photo (no photos here!)

How to re-cock (which kind?)

Green, yellow stringy poop (hmmmm… recurring theme going on here. Didn’t I once swear I would never talk about poo?)

My dog shakes her head uncontrollably (mine only shakes her head annoyingly at baby)

How to cure a bloated cow (another innocent victim simply looking for some real help only to hit a tale of a dead, bloated cow and neon, green vomit)

And the grand finale…

Women wearing tight clothes such that her nipples pop out (If you like them leaking milk then I am the woman for you my man!!)


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