I Am Nothing or How to Become Less Sucky

I suck.

Not on lollypops or suckers (go figure) or male anatomy.

No, I just mean I suck. I am unworthy. Uninspired.

I have not mentioned Change the World for Ten Bucks- 50 ways to make a difference in quite some time because I suck. Which is to say, I have not been checking off the list. I have been slow to make a difference. If I am what I do, then I am nothing. Harsh right?

Granted, I have been busy raising a human being for almost one full year now. No small feat. Certainly that is not nothing. And I have accomplished 21 out of 50 ways to make a difference, many of them ongoing.

But the truth is, I could be doing more. I should be doing more. Obviously, I am writing this post so I want to be doing something more.

Not being a religious person, a church-goer, I sometimes feel conflicted using the word ‘blessed’. Yet this is my life. Blessed. Which allows me infinite opportunity to give. To help. To do. I should not be waiting for a terminal disease, natural disaster or life tragedy to answer my call to action. My call is now.

So what should I do? What is my cause?

I have ideas. There are plans brewing for the near future which I will be sure to share as they progress. But for now, for this moment, I will continue to add on to my 50 ways to make a difference. So this month I make a commitment to the following:

I commit to #11 Smile and Smile Back. Sometimes I am surly. Sometimes retail workers, people in the community are surly. But never mind, this month I will smile. Hopefully people will smile back. The results will be posted here!

I commit to #12 If it says 40km- do 40km. It is back to school time. Kids are flooding the roads. It is time to drive safe. Drive the speed limit. Is it so wrong that this is going to be very, very challenging for me?

I commit to #15 Register for Organ Donation. I have been wanting to do this for years. Every time I try, or make the first move to do so, I suddenly become a Greek Grandma spitting and yelling to not tempt fate. But I will do it this time because I am not Greek, nor superstitious.

I commit to #19 Learn One Good Joke. I suck at jokes. I destroy the punch line every time. But I will learn one that I can remember and is funny. I will! Any help?

I commit to #42 Recycle Old Glasses. Perfect, I just got a new pair and will happily find a donation place and say Bon Voyage to my old, wrong prescription pair that gave me a headache (and still left me blind)

Phew! What a Saint eh?!

Okay, not really. I have purposefully bypassed:

#6 Plant something. Because when I plant things, they die.

#10 Give change to charity. If you consider Kaya a charity, then I donate daily via the Potty Mouth Jar Fund.

#17 Watch less TV. Watch less TV? Are you kidding me? It’s a whole new season and I can not wait for Heroes, Prisonbreak, Grey’s Anatomy, House, Lost… Shall I go on?!!

#20 Find out how your money is invested. This one makes me want to crumple up in a ball and hide. I haven’t even figured out what investing is never mind if it’s done ethically.

#45 Give phone # to 5 people in your street. Why?

Yup, I suck. But I am less suckier than I was yesterday so that’s got to be saying something. Doesn’t it?


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