Evolution: [ev-uh-loo-shuhn] noun
1. The process whereby one thing progresses to another. ex- a baby (not naming any names) nicknamed ‘my lil monster’ to ‘monster mash’ to ‘monster mashy’ to ‘moonsty mashy’ and finally to her new term of endearment ‘moonsty-moonsty’
2. The progression of a conversation:
Bal: “I wonder what I’d be doing if I was a stoner.”
Me: “You’d be fat.”
B: “What? No! Stoners are skinny!”
K: “Hmmm… True. But all those munchies? How are they all so skinny?”
K: “Seriously, name one fat stoner.”
B: “No one I know”
K: “Well there’s Chris Farley. John Belushi. Ummm…”
B: “Okay, but name one you know personally. Or at least one who’s alive.”
K: “Mommy playgroup does not give many opportunities for stoner friends. But yah, you’re right, even in college there were no fat stoners!”
B: “There must be some fat stoners.”
K: “Where are all the alive fat stoners? Calling all breathing fat stoners…”
B: “Time to let it go.”
But the thought is unrelenting. The alive fat stoners are out there. Somewhere. Eating Doritos with sour candies, playing Guitar Hero in their basements probably.
3. A product of development. Such as parenthood. You know, when you start letting your baby cry it out. Stop checking every 5 minutes to make sure baby is still breathing. Don’t cringe at snot running down their crusted over noses. Turn the 3 second rule into the 3 day rule. Understand that ingested doggie hair will come out the other end just fine thank you very much.
1. Devolution [dev-uh-loo-shuhn] noun
My bank account.