Who Wants a Shit-shkabob?

6 months have passed since Kaya entered our lives which also means 6 months have passed since first depositing money into the Swear-Jar.

I counted and the lil bugger (oops, I mean booger… Wait, bugger’s not a swear. Or is it? Welcome to the ongoing battle in our household of what constitutes a swear) has made $81 dollars off her parents so far (and a few stragglers entering the swear-free zone).

$81 divided by .25cents = 324 swears

324 divided by 182 days of her life = 1.78 swears a day

Not bad! (okay, so obviously we have so, so been cheating)

1.78 swears a day eh?

Must be something along the lines of:

Shit-shkabob (Yummy, meaty deliciousness…)

Fu-Lalalalalala (Caught myself early. yay!)

Dam-illydilly (Haven’t you heard of them? No? Totally garlicy pickles dude. Nope. Wasn’t swearing! It’s a pickle! Too bad if you don’t believe me.)

Bas-turdies (What? I was talking about fish poop! Really! I was not about to swear. No, I do not owe 25 cents. Do not. Not!)

Ass-inine (As in ‘you’re such an Ass… Inine’. Total quarter in the jar)

Bitch-unky(as in ‘What a bitch…unky belly she’s got there’ and if you want your daughter calling out for Uncle Bitch with a big fat belly than fine, don’t pay up. Whatever.)

Seriously, if we invest that $168 now and add in that much every year with a 6% rate of return, Kaya will have around $6000 by the time she graduates highschool.

Which will more than likely cover, oh say, one semesters worth of textbooks by then.

Damn, if we want this girl to go to University, we’d better fuckin get our asses in gear and swear more often for the lil bugger 🙂


2 thoughts on “Who Wants a Shit-shkabob?

  1. Ok, Kari, not sure who gets the parents-of-the-year awards on our methods of education savings…

    Max gets all the money from our empties. $270 was counted a couple months ago so that would be for about 2 years.

    So if I do the math, $270 divided by $0.05/can divided by 12 cans in a dozen that gives me 450 dozen cans of, er, beverages.

    Ok that can’t be right – almost 19 cases a month!!! Ok so maybe my dad put $100 in the piggy bank, that still makes it almost 12 cases a month. Well there are a couple Christmas’s in there plus the summer and sitting by the pool.

    Oh well, cheers and here’s to Max’s education!

    ps – I’d be broke if we had a swear jar.

  2. Oh man, we are totally cheating on this. haha. I think we could probably have those 1.78 swears covered in an hour.

    Oh, and don’t forget it’s playoffs. Does that count even?! bummer

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