The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

The Good: I did it! I ran for 50 minutes today! Not consecutively mind you but pretty close. My program has me at run 10 minutes, walk one minute 5 times. The one minute walk did get extended to 2 minutes twice but more importantly, I ran 10 minutes straight 5 different times within one hour! To think that just a couple of months ago, I could barely do 30 seconds in a row. I am impressed with myself if you can not tell 🙂

The Bad: I am still getting stomache cramps every time I run. I do breathe.

Honestly.

Seriously, I could not put forth my running mantra “God damn, mother fuckin truckin, God damn, mother fuckin truckin, God damn, mother fucking truckin…” unless I were breathing. So why the cramps I wonder? Anyone have any ideas?

Also my knees hurt. I’d say at about the 47th minute I had a flash of Bea Arthur as Dorothy from the Golden girls go through my head. I’m not sure why. Did she have bad knees?

Maybe I should have envisioned Estelle Getty as her mom instead. I don’t know. Anyways, I have a flash of old- decreped, Go-sit-your-sorry-ass-down-in-front-of-the-soaps-and-knit for cryin out loud, old. But I don’t. I run. For 50 minutes!

The Ugly: I’m afraid at one point I look as ridiculous as Borat trying to become a black man.

Borat with his pants down below his butt crack as he attempts a black man swagger (that looks more like a drunken fools stagger) and remarking in his Kazakhi accent that the hotel staff must be ‘player haters’.

Me with my pants slipped down, revealing my grandmotherly (speaking of Bea Arthur) white undies, runner’s stride turned all too quickly into what also looks like a drunken stagger, and, upon realizing my resemblance to Borat, a phlegmy Canadian accent crying out to my runaway dog “Riley, are you a Player-hater?” (Which, excuse my ignorance, I believe is a cheater, multi-dater, sexual fiend??)

Regardless of my lack of grace and style, I still did it. I still ran 50 minutes. Bring on the Sun Run!

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2 thoughts on “The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

  1. Disclaimer: I am not a runner. Never have been, never will be. Advice to be taken at your own risk.

    Hey Kari,

    I hate running but joined soccer last year for…well, not exactly sure why but it ended up being the best exercise I’ve gotten in a long time and I got in great shape.

    I still hate running (which of course if the basis of soccer) but I am so much better at it. Granted I am not paying attention to the fact I am running – I more focus on chasing down opponents or trying to run and kick the ball at the same time. Regardless, here’s (maybe) some running tips:

    1 – drink water – not so much that you feel like a beached whale but I think it helps iwth the cramps (which I get too).
    2 – Stretch. Yadda Yadda Yadda
    3 – Make sure your shoes fit good. Not necessarily need to run out and spend $200 on runners but I feel a really good pair of socks (you know the kind that you put your feet in to and uncontrollably make that “ahhh” noise) give you better fit in your shoe and more comfort on your poor feet that are taking a pounding.

    Regardless of any of this, a big hats off to you for doing this. It is a HUGE accomplishment to run for 10 minutes straight. Best of luck on the Sun Run.

    Nic

  2. Pingback: If You Spend Your Whole Life Waiting for the Sunshine, You’ll Never Enjoy the Storm « The Moody Chick

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