Okay, so I just went to sign into my government Epass account that I so diligently signed up for 3 days ago. I can procrastinate the inevitable miserable dealings with the abhored government no longer. My notice of assessment tells me I can dispute online from my epass account. So off I go to dispute.
My password, much as I anticipated in an earlier post, does not seem to be working. Seriously.
Knowing I would run into difficult with my 11 character password with at least one capital letter, one lower case and one number, I carefully wrote it down on a bright pink sticky note that I placed directly in front of me at my computer. So I type that in. It does not work.
So I click on the ‘Forget password’ button that taunts me so.
Here it directs me to the 3, yes I must answer all 3 correctly, hint questions. Granted, I myself picked which questions and which answers but, well, here’s a look at my brains’ process.
Question #1: Your first pets name.
Brain (not on drugs but may as well be): Okay, did I get sneaky and put my very first dog I ever had in my life when I was a baby but I do not remember her but she’s awfully cute in the pictures I’ve seen? Or did I choose my first dog that felt like my first dog since I actually remember her rat face in all its glory? Or did I choose my first dog I have had as an adult whereby I actually took full responsibility for the pet?
Question #2: An important person to you.
Brain: Seriously? I picked this question? Fortunately I added a hint for the hint question. ‘Hubby’s name.’ Okay, I do not have a hubby officially. I have a common-lawy. Must be him. So did I put his full name? If so, how the hell do you spell it again? I hope I didn’t spell it wrong when I first submitted this. Wait a minute, I must have gone through this the first time. Maybe I ended up using his used name rather than the full one. But the full one would be trickier. Dammit! Why couldn’t my hint of the hint have been more specific?
Question #3: Important date.
Brain: Oh shit. I suck at dates. I forget birthdays, anniversaries and well, even today’s date. Oh phew. My hint of the hint on this one is Kaya. Her birthday! Yay me! I guess I figured if anyone could get past the intense security of my previous 2 questions, they may as well have at er’.
Here, Hacker or Identity Theft Dude, have access to my life! Please, please submit my Dispute for me. Or pay the $400 I don’t have for me will ya? And you may as well take on my mortgage and car loan and student loan while you’re at it.
Anyways, miraculously I get through this portion.
Next it asks me if the date and time of my last sign on listed is correct. If not, there has been a violation and call so and so to report. Puh, puh, paranoia…
Ignoring that, I click continue ready to Dispute!
But I am brought to a page that informs me I have received my CRA account # in the mail by now so to continue I must punch in this number.
I have NOT received the CRA # in the mail. Canada post has not yet delivered this to me. I can not carry on.
Government, I am not going to give up. I will dispute. You can pin that proverbial arm behind my back, but I will not cry Uncle. I will not.
So keep making me stay on hold all day. Make your website as convoluted as possible. Have me stand in line for hours on end with a baby. Train all of your staff to be condescending assholes. Bring it on.
Because I will Dispute. I will.
Oh wait, Kaya is crying. Time to go raise a human being and do the hardest job on earth now. But I will be back. I will fight.
Brain: Uncle, uncle, uncle oh sweet Governement have mercy, Uncle, uncle, uncle already!!!!