Vexed

I pulled up an online thesaurus to look up ‘frustrated’ in an attempt to describe here my feelings of late. Frustrated was inadequate. Disheartened is true but does not convey the anger side. Disgruntled works but makes me think of a postal worker gone ballistic.

Vexed is the closest I can come up with. Although you really have to feel it with me. Put on those beaver lips, teeth covering your bottom lip, crinkle that nose, and shake your head in disgust, “Vexed!”. If a little spit came out in your effort, congratulations, you have mastered that art of Vex.

If not, perhaps this will get you to a place where you can truly feel it. Be it.

The last few days, I have been dealing (also coping, enduring and/or dickering) with the *ominous drum beats sound here* Government *boos, hollers and protests sound here*.

I am beyond Vexed. (Had you been standing here in front of me rather than reading this account, your face would be soaked for all the spit I let loose there.)

VEXED!

The following will no doubt bore you to cancel your way out of my blog. I don’t blame you. But here it is. My various dealings with the *spit, holler, boo* Government.

1. Fill out Universal Child Tax Benefit form and get ready to send.
Realize I can not send until I get a birth certificate.

– Fill out Birth Certificate form and send with $27.

– One month later, receive birth cert. It looks just like mine although I am not allowed to laminate hers so I buy plastic cover to protect it.

– Send Universal Child Tax Benefit with copy of birth cert.

– 2 months later I am still waiting for my $100/month tax benefit. I am already at tax office (the reason to come) so get number to call to follow up.

– Call number given. Wrong number.

– Look up on internet for 20 minutes to find #.

– Call, directed through multi-layers/levels in directory, finally hit number for what I need only to get a busy signal and disconnection.

– Give up on Child Tax Benefit. For now.

2. Plan a fabulous family trip to San Francisco in April and realize Kaya, 5 month old little smuggling, terrorist Kaya, needs a passport to go to the US now.

– Line-ups are enormous at passport office but mailing it in is taking 2 months to process so Bal takes day off work so we can go stand in line as the thought of going by myself with Kaya for who knows how many hours, is not appealing.

– We arrive at 7:30am, opening, and are way at the back of the line down several flights of stairs, down a hall, down the escalator and into the subway station. I am not kidding.

– Kaya and I go shopping since the stroller can not even make it to where Bal stands. Bal stands in line for almost 3 hours and finally makes it to the pre-screening room!

– People here now get a number and told to come back for the final step of submitting your application. The wait is another 3 hours.

– We do not get a number. We are told to leave.

– They will not accept our application because we only have the small birth certificate (remember, the same bloody birth cert as mine and everybody else I know that I have been using successfully for the past 31 years…) and we require the large birth certificate that holds the names of both parents.

– Bal protests. No where were we told we would need this. No where. It is to no avail. We are banished from going any further.

– After many deposits into Kaya’s swear jar and a few drinks later, we are still livid and still can not get her a passport.

– So the next day I go to our local government office to reapply for another, albeit, bigger birth certificate. I pay $27 more dollars and deposit 75 more cents into Kaya’s bank.

– I must wait 10 business days to receive new birth certificate and then will have to make the trip alone with Kaya for the full day application process.

– We will not be going to San Fran in April. Hopefully May. More likely June.

3. Amongst all of this I file our tax returns. I use one program the government recommends online but their efile service crashes and I can not file to get my money back.

– In the meantime I try another tax preperation site and it gives me a better return. Good news finally.

– But short term.

4. Because the next day in the mail, I receive a ‘Notice of Reassessment’ from the *boo, holler, yell* Government. Tax year 2004. They have recalculated our GST credit and since they figure we were common-law, we could not file seperately. Thus we get no GST credit. Thus we owe $404.25.

– Bullshit you MotherF%&^)*&s.

– We were not CommonLaw as we had been living in two seperate towns until we bought our place March 2004. We then have to be living together for one year before being regarded as Common-Law. We had been living together for only 4 months.

– So now I have to send a Notice of Objection.

– I have been told to send form T400A- Objection Income Tax Act.

– But also told to send Notice of Objection (GST) Form GST 159??

– I go online to find the answer and am directed to sign up for EPass which I don’t really understand but it would seem it will give me the answers to this, and various other, answers to my government dealings.

– I create a username. easy
I create a password. Fail. Try Again. Fail. Again. Fail.
Finally I realize why. My password MUST be 8 characters at least, have one capital letter, one lower case letter and one number. At least.
Alrighty then, done. But don’t ask me to remember what it is tomorrow.

– Then I have to give the usual security question hint and answer. (Which I will need as I will NOT remember my password EVER)
Only for the *boo, curse, holler* Government, they require 3 seperate secret questions and hints. I have no idea which questions I did, nor the answers.

-Finally, I am through. But first a note. I will be receiving a 4 digit passcode in the mail which I must then input into my account. If I do not within 5 days, my account I just spend 42 minutes and 2 seconds opening, will be expired. Of course, after today I will never ever get in again since I won’t remember my password and have no idea how I answered the security hint questions.

-OK, now I am in. But I do not easily find my answer. I type in search the two forms I have been told I need to send (to 2 different departments) and neither comes up. Pages and pages of other stuff does. But not the answer.

5. So I call the *scream, shout, yell* Government where I am directed to push 1. So I do. But that is wrong. I must type 0-1. Then 03. 02. 01. Eventually it tells me I can press star and talk to a real live person.

-Much to my shock and amazement, somebody answers right away. I explain my entire situation (which takes approximately 3 minutes and 23 seconds) and ask which form or how I go about filing an objection. “Oh, you will have to call the GST credit department for that.” she tells me in a monotone voice.

– I get the direct # to that department (I am no fool!) and this time only have to press 1-2-1. No zero’s. I am on hold. Listening to classical music that cuts in and out.

-Eventually it cuts right out and I can hear fragmented peices of a conversation. “Yes ma’am. No ma’am. You can not do that ma’am. No. No, I’m sorry.” In the end I do not think I am even still in queue, can no longer bare hearing ‘No’, even if it is not directed at me, and I hang up.

– I give up. For now.

So after dealing with the government on and off for the past 5 months, this is what I have accomplished:

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