“Spicy!” Squealing. “Get in and get out!” Crying out. “Woohoo!” Smooches. “Hmmm… is this what they consider ‘full-bodied’?” Outbursts. “Mmmmmm…” Sighs. “Is it ever going to be over?”
Now, I am not one to kiss and tell but today, just for you, I shall reveal all:
“Spicy!”- delicious Agadeshi Tofu
Squealing- My dog, after one of the bathtub people came into my home and grabbed her at the neck.
“Get in and get out!”- Me fed up and yelling at the bathtub man to hurry the hell up after he assaults my dog in my house for no apparent reason.
Crying out- Kaya, all day, crying for anything and everything.
“Woohoo!”- the Canucks score in overtime tieing them for first in the division.
Smooches- kissing my gorgeous daughter, she automatically squints her eyes shut and opens her big, drooly mouth wide.
“Hmmmm… is this what they consider full-bodied?”- Bal, thankfully talking about the fabulous find of ‘Funky Llama’ wine and not about his newly and larger shaped lady.
Outbursts- not orgasmic ones I’m afraid. Take your pick. Me yelling at the bathtub guy, the bathtub guys boss, the dog for whining… Kaya with her own outbursts at various points in the day.
“Mmmmmmm”- Yummy Japanese food and chocolate mousse dessert and red wine. All of which resulted in me being very, very sleepy.
Sighs- Me annoyed and frustrated at the sounds of snoring coming from the lump beside me, the dog at the foot of the bed and the daughter in her crib but not from myself who’d had a really, really shitty day.
“Is it ever going to be over?”- Me talking to the bathtub boss after 9 days and counting for a straightforward tub replacement.
This, as my brother seems so fond of saying lately, is living the dream my friends.
And as I so succinctly put it at 4:30am as Kaya cries hungrily for her mom:
“I call Bullshit!”