1. Sorry Kaya for saying, “Oh my goodness, you’re so ugly you’re cute!”. What I meant to say was “Oooh, your hair is so cute, it’s kinda ugly!” Ummm, which come to think of it, doesn’t make much sense and is mean so I’m sorry about that too. Don’t blame me. I come by it honestly. You grow up having your Gramma calling you ‘Ugly Mugly’ every day and see how you turn out.
2. Sorry Bal for not posting another ‘Sorry’ post sooner. I didn’t because I know you’re only waiting to see which superhero I dump your ass for this time. I know you’re gunning for Hiro from Heroes and while he is awfully cute, these are my dreams (or fantasies) and I’ll take oh, Wolverine say anyday. Oh wait, pertaining to my Plumber Butt post, I looked up Banshee and well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle, Banshee is from Xmen along with Wolverine! An Irish mutant, Banshee possesses a “sonic scream,” capable of harming enemies’ auditory systems and causing physical vibrations. Sweet. I like Irish men. I like beer. And damn, I love physical vibrations!
3. I’m sorry Optometrist for leaving you for another. There was just no way I could take you seriously with a name like Buffy.
‘Holy, need a new prescription much?!’
(which you will really only get if you’re a proud Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan)
4. Sorry to the Oklahoma couple I gave directions to while out on my daily stroll. No, I didn’t give them the wrong directions (although I don’t blame you for thinking this of me). Rather, I’m sorry for being amused by your accent and thus picking up on it and using it while repeating back the directions to you. You know, something along the lines of “Y’all turn left at dem dare lights, then turn right and you folks will be dare.”
5. Sorry for not only butchering ‘dem dare’ accent in the first place, but also not being able to type it properly either.
6. Sorry to Tinkfor after reading your lovely comment about my photographs in a previous post I said outloud to myself “Awww, thanks Tick” . I was only off by one letter and ticks and Tink (as I imagine you) are both tiny things with attitude. But nonetheless, I am sorry. You are not a tick. You are Tink. And you are cool. And if I were not kitty-corner from you on the opposite side of the continent, I would want to hang out on a daily basis, if only to be a part of your daily conversations.
7. Sorry to the lil ol’ Asian lady at the grocery store for blurting inappropriately:
Lil ol Asian Lady approaches. “Oh, your baby is so cute!”
“Thanks!” I reply and smile.
“How old is she?”
She lifts up her toque and smiles “Wow, she looks just like her mom.”
Whereby I look down at Lil ol’ Asian Lady to make sure she’s not drunk and blurt “What, are you on crack?”
Lil ol’ Asian lady is taken aback and I think she thinks she misunderstood what I said.
No, you heard me lady. “Are you on crack?!” is exactly what I said.
She smiles knowingly (as in knowing I’m off my rocker) and rushes away.
I look at my black haired, brown skinned, brown eyed rolly polly baby who is her Dad’s twin and just hope to god Lil ol Asian Lady did not have an eye for her inner personality to see the stubborn, impatient, temper tantrum laden girl that would then, most certainly, be just like her mom.
8. Finally, sorry to myself if that is indeed the case and Kaya is just like her mom. It’s going to be a long 18 years. Suddenly I am hit with a flash of my own mother wishing/cursing twin girls who are exactly like me. I leave this post screaming indeed, like a Banshee.