1. Sorry Kaya for dropping yogurt and granola on your head this morning but I’m especially sorry for not noticing until a good 10 minutes after I had finished breakfast.
2. Sorry Serena Williams for having a new LCD flat panel TV (but not HD as of yet) that stretches your ass far bigger than it really is. And a special sorry from Bal who had to change the ratio on the tv to make sure that wasn’t your true ass size.
3. Sorry Riley for not taking you on a walk yesterday making you pouty and miserable all night. Of course, it didn’t help that when I let you out to pee, you sauntered out into the pouring rain, looked back at me as if asking if you really needed to be out here, then proceeded to walk under the table, maneuver your body so that your body stayed under cover, leaving only your ass stuck out in order to squat and pee. Unfortunately, you didn’t really fit and were forced to venture your entire body out in the rain to do your business and so for that I am sorry also.
4. Sorry to myself for being so damn level headed, money conscience and well, cheap so as to talk yourself out of buying a new vehicle (which would have had so much more room and been all pretty and stuff…)
5. Sorry to Bal for my dream last night where I dumped his sorry ass for a love affair with Superman that transcended all time and space continuums.
6. Sorry to Kaya for corrupting you with an Oscar the Grouch toy you received as a present that spits out “Can it! Beat it! Scram! Stop Giggling!” followed by a disturbing evil laughter.
6. Finally, sorry to (for) myself since Kaya absolutely loves Oscar the Grouch, making me fear that she is going to have one hell of an attitude as she grows older. I can envision playschool already…
Teacher: Okay class, everybody tell your mommy and daddy what you love the most!
Cute, adorable child #1: I love my mommy!
Sweet, quiet child #2: I love my dog!
Giggly, smiley child #3: I love candy!
Kaya loudly, with hair standing on all ends, yells: I love trash!
Followed by a frighteningly familiar evil laugh.