Crotch Calls

I have lost my phone. And my mind. After talking to Mandy, we agree she will come over with the kids and call as she is leaving the house. Expecting her call, I take the phone with me as I head upstairs. After changing Kaya, setting her down in her crib to watch her mobile, checking my email, peeing, throwing the wash into the dryer and folding some clothes, I realize somewhere along the way that I have lost my phone. I look everywhere for it. Moving from room to room, I retrace my steps and look in, under and around everything.

Nothing.

So I email Bal at work. ‘Help! Please phone me so I can find my phone. Thanx!’

I get up from the desk and that is when I find it.

Not on the desk or floor or in one of the drawers I had sifted through. Not a drawer at any rate. Rather, in my drawers.

Pocketless, I had stuck my phone between my belly and elastic band of my pants (Yes, still in elastic thanks.) Upon standing up, the phone breaks free of the elastic and slips down to my crotch area between my undies and pants.

Laughing, I fish it out just as my phone rings. Bal got the email. If only he had called 30 seconds earlier, I would have had my very own Vagina Monologue…

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