Freudian Slips or Plain ol’ Bad English

Overheard at the Doctors office:

2 year old girl- “What’s this mom?”
Mom- “I think it’s an Octopus.”
Girl- “I got to piss?”
Mom- “Yes, an Octopus!”
Girl- “I got to piss!”

Same girl burps.
Mom- “What do you say?”
Girl- “Shoot me!” (Well, that’s what I heard anyways but I’m sure it was ‘Scuze me’.)

These exchanges reminded me of teaching English in Korea. Us teachers had a sheet in our office posted called “Quotes from Students- Donations Accepted”. Here is a sampling of these quotes:

“I feel embarrassed when I part. You know, break wind.”

Teacher- “What’s yellow?”
Student- “I children chicken is yellow” (unclear if they mean a chick or Big Bird!)

“I ate the snake in the military.”

“Cute means ugly but interesting.”

Male student to female student, “What do you do stay healthy? Do you eat the snake?”

Class topic is Mountain Climbing:
Female Student- “I’m very poor at going down.”

Teacher- “What would you do if a stranger kissed you?”
Student- “I gonna kick his ass!”
Teacher- “Correction. I would kick his ass.”

Teacher- “Were you in any clubs in college?”
Student- “I was in the ‘love-handles’ club.” (Meant Love Hand club, a club for sign language.)

Question- “What is France famous for?”
Answer- “France is famous for the Eiffel Pagoda.”

“My favourite movie is Pass the Wind.” (Trying to say Gone with the Wind)

“It was Karen. She taught Intercourse.” (Trying to say Interchange course.)

Teacher- “Have you ever watched Sesame Street?”
Student- “Yes, I liked that dragon…” (Big Bird)

Question- “How is your mom doing?”
Answer- “She’s a pain in the neck.” (Intended to say she has a sore throat.)

Question- “Where do I get off?”
Answer- “Get off at the 1st stop. The stadium will be on your behind.”

Teacher- “Have you ever been in an accident?”
Student- “No, I am a good civilization.”

“I really like Coke.”(said with really bad pronunciation!)

Teacher- “What do you do when you’re lonely?”
Student- “I like to play with myself.” (meaning reading, watching tv, etc…)

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One thought on “Freudian Slips or Plain ol’ Bad English

  1. My contrbutions: A sheep came into my house and took my la-dee-oh! (Actually: a theif got into his apartment and stole his radio)
    Also: I hate the short man following me! (Actually: she did not want to date the guy who was a borderline stalker because he was too short)
    Jules

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