The Signs

I had been 100% certain I was not pregnant. Can you blame me?

Pre-menstrual Symptoms
-crave chocolate
-spotting a few days before full flow
-tender boobs
-heavy, bloated feel in gut

Apparent Pregnancy Symptoms
-crave chocolate
-spotting a few days before what was supposed to be full flow
-tender boobs
-heavy, bloated feel in gut

So, I’m sorry baby for the 2 beer, 1 long island iced tea, toxic paint fumes and bottomless coffee that I consumed in your first 2 weeks.

Guilt, already, consumes me.

And I haven’t even lost you in a shopping mall yet.

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