This is the first weekend morning of the cleanse. Most weekend mornings begin with Bal bringing me up to bed a delectably strong Americano (yes, I am spoiled!) Today, he brings me a hot water with lemon and a pinch of cayenne. (should have been a dash cuz his pinch is strong!) Just not the same but I drink it, shower, and head downstairs to make my morning juice.

Before heading down the stairs, I am absolutely convinced that Bal rudely decided to make pancakes. I could smell them! It haunted me. But no, there was nothing going on downstairs except some peanut butter toast for the girls.

So into the kitchen I head with the lid of the PB jar off and PB calling my name. Cover. Breathe. Pull out the veggies. Today’s juice? Carrot, cucumber, parsley, tomato, kale. It looked revolting to be honest but tasted delish. Really!

Awhile later Bal decides to take the girls for a swim so I drop them off and head to the store to buy more vegetable along with ingredients for tonights dinner, Curried Lentils and Quinoa with Spinach and Warm Indian Spices. Sounds good right? I will let you know.

While shopping, my stomach starts gurgling. I need some real food, not just juice. Shopping for snack foods for the girls and passing chip aisles and brownies do not help my cause. But I’m a mom and I do what I have to do. Beets and radishes for me, yogurt pretzels and fishy crackers for the girls. The cart looks rather schizophrenic actually.

After getting home and putting away all the groceries, it is finally time for me to eat! Pulling out the rice crackers, I lather them with hummus and load up with spinach, tomato and cucumber.

Looking good!

So good that I don’t even take the time to grab a plate to go sit down to eat. No, I just scoop one up right where I am standing, lift the tasty goodness that is satisfyingly crunchy food, put it up to my lips, and before I can take my first bite,

BZZZZZZ

A text has come through. From Bal.

We’re done. Come get us.

Seriously? Seriously! How do they know? I don’t just want to eat people, I need to eat. Listen, I knew that the kids must have been grumpy and hungry to have had such a quick swim, but I am cleansing and I don’t give a shit. Daddy will have to deal.  I text back a haughty,

About to eat. Distract them. Give me 10.

He buys them a snack to wait, I eat (with no guilt even) and all is right with the world.

After getting them and returning home, hunger grumbles still persist, so I have carrots, peas, and green peppers dipped in Hummus. Yummus!

2pm has been my crashing point all week. Today I decide I can treat myself to a Soy Chai Latte from Starbucks. Until remembering that Chai is black tea. Damn. But have no fear my friends, I whip up a Rooibos Tea Misto of my own using Almond Milk and it is freakin amazing.

A shaky morning but feeling great this afternoon. Lots of energy, clear-headed, and hope that it will only get better.

5 days without coffee… I am a superstar!!

Days 1-3 (2 & 3 especially) left me foggy, listless, and exhausted. Like the first trimester of pregnancy exhausted. Like, could not make a fist exhausted. The Crazy Sexy Diet book suggests that ‘you may feel ‘fatigued’. Try bone-weary or knackered.

I did not take any notes on the first 4 days, but here, from what I can recall in my haze, is what transpired.

Day 1 and I cheat. I decide I may need to ease into this no coffee nonsense so I make one final coffee hurrah! Only I use my bodem. And make it way too strong. So that instead of being a loving goodbye it is a wretched gag. I maybe drink half and only because I know it is the last time.

Cheat #2. There is no way I am making dinner. I can not move. Bal steps in and makes pasta, a meaty sauce with garlic bread for him and the girls, a tomato, veggie-loaded sauce for me. The pasta was not gluten free however. Baby steps…

Day 2. From what I remember I made the Green Juice from the Crazy Sexy Diet book. It was okay. Fortunately, I had signed Brennyn up for a Kindermusik class on this day so I got out of the house with other people that I had to be polite (if not cheery) around. We danced and sang and banged (Brennyn stole the music sticks from me or I totally would have introduced heavy metal to the toddler set!) then headed off with friends for lunch. There is a fabulous cafe in town that provides a ton of vegan-friendly dishes and I oh so happily indulged in a gluten-free Soba Noodle Veggie Bowl. Huge, filling and delicious!

Unfortunately, this did not stop me from absolutely crashing by 1pm. The sun was shining in the bedroom so I sat at it to catch some Vitamin D and totally crashed for as long as Brennyn did, and only managed to get up because I had to go get Kaya from school.

Dinner was up to Bal again. Fried rice with no egg and tons of veggies.

Mint tea that evening to combat cold and cravings.

Fast asleep by 9:30pm!

Day 3 doesn’t fare much better. Mornings are okay. Juices are good and pretty filling but definitely hungry by noon. Veggies dipped generously in hummus that is sprinkled with Holy Crap cereal (love this stuff but Holy Crap is it ever expensive!)

Somehow I find enough energy to make dinner tonight but all I really remember is maniacally laughing (think Wicked Witch of the West) at adding 2 TBS white wine into my dressing mixture. My only cheat of the day though one I enjoyed immensely even though I couldn’t actually even taste the wine!

More tea, more sleep by 9:30pm.

Day 4 and I see a light. Less fog of the brain, more energy. Still, I wake up starving and decide today I will do a smoothie instead of juice. I add a wee bit of yogurt to get the texture right but add some spinach to counter balance my a slight dairy cheat.

Dr Oz’s blueberry avocado smoothie is recommended!

Lunch is corn krisps, hummus and veggies and the 2pm crash is lessened with herbal tea and some almonds. The rest of the day goes well until I realize it’s Friday night and how can one do Friday night without wine? The book tells me that if I’m going to cheat then having a couple squares of 70%+ dark chocolate is a reasonable way to do it.

So I do it.

Stay tuned for Day 5.

“And I did it my way…” ~Frank Sinatra

Frank sang it and you personify it. Two and a half years old and doing it your way. Which, too often than not, is not the same way as your mom or dad. More in the general direction of your sister, though by way of bushwacking and scenic routes.

This can be an exasperating thing for parents trying to keep up with you, or plan for you. Like today I left the light on for your nap since when I don’t, you pitter patter over to turn it on anyways, but today you pitter patter to turn it off. Go figure.

Or eating. Don’t even get me started (or especially get your dad started) on your eating… It’s not that you won’t eat so we can be grateful for that, but you won’t eat in one sitting. You must graze. Bite and run, bite and watch TV, bite and somersault, bite and chase. Three hours later and your meal is done just as a new one is set to begin!

But just as often as I am exasperated, I am proud and filled with admiration too. The way you burst ahead, not really worried about consequences, just knowing that right now, this moment, it is good!This past 6 months has seen Kaya head to Kindergarten, meaning you and I have a lot of new-found one-on-one time together. This is both a gift, and a challenge. We have started parent and tot gymnastics,

done many a walk and river-side picnic,

and passed a lot of time outside riding bikes or playing ball.Lately though, the rain has come. Hard. Which probably wouldn’t stop you, but has me uninspired to get outside. As a result, there has been a lot more of “I miss Kaya” pouty lips protruding. I’ve done my best but sister-play is the best.We’ve tried arts and crafts. They work, in the very short term.

We’ve tried baking but that usually results either in no baking (you’ve poured an entire box of baking soda in the mix the millisecond I turn my back!) or flooding (as you wash the dishes or babies or any sharp object that you can get your hands on in that same millisecond I turn my back!)

You’re not really an indoor kid.

When I think of you at this, 2.5 years, I will always think of you in gumboots and tutus.

I will remember you always pushing the boundaries. (From escaping confines to trying to be a big kid to testing the limits…)

“Brennyn! NO throwing the ball at the TV. Brennyn! STOP!”

Stops. Looks at me. Looks at Kaya. Before I have a chance to intervene you respond,

“Oh. Okay. Just Kaya?”

Whereby you whip the ball straight at Kaya’s head, make contact, ball bouncing off her head, hits our insect trapper home thingy which falls crashing to the floor.

“Brennyn…” I threaten.

With a gleam in your eye, knowing you are testing me and loving every moment of it, you head towards Kaya to which I think a hug of apology is coming, but you dart towards the insect trapper instead, “Oh, Sorry bugs. You okay bugs? Sorry little bugs!” as you peer inside kissing and hugging the insects home. All I can do, Kaya too, is laugh then tickle you, our little Stinker, until you say sorry to your sister. Which you do.

I will remember the hugs and the pats and love given to your family and random inanimate objects.

I will remember the pouts,

“I’m sad.” pout, pout, whine, whine…

“Why are you sad?”

“Because I’m gwumpy!”

To which we usually read Grumpy Bird. We have read a lot of Grumpy Bird…

I will remember the contemplative moments fondly.And the ROARS just as fondly. (of Dinosaurs and Monsters who have always conveniently ate whatever it is that you have lost. “Maybe a monster ate it?” said innocently with that glimmer of mischievousness in your eye!)Musn’t forget the bankie and su-su. Never forget the bankie and su-su!Babies, dinosaur vitamins, snackies, slow, halting sentences surprisingly complete… There is so much to remember and treasure of this time. What will absolutely never be forgotten and carried on forever though, is this,With Love and Giggles and Tickly Squeezes,

Mommy

You see, too many glasses of wine for my birthday (and New Years) left me starting 2012 with nausea and a pounding headache. With the in-laws in town, there was no laying in bed for the entire day to recover (because at 36, one really needs the whole day to recover from even only a slight bit too much booze) No, we got up to go to Whistler for some skating and outdoor fun.

To which I said No to skating and playing on the snow mound. While they are ‘wowed’ at the Village and how cool it is, I begrudgingly walk along dreaming about my bed and more coffee.

Once we make it back home, I say No to Wii Just Dance 3 and playing our marble game with my nephew. I ditch out of half the movie we are watching and completely crash out in bed.

Yup, a whole lot of No’s indeed.

Not how a new year should begin for sure.

Several friends in the past few weeks have told me they are going to give something up for January. Whether it’s coffee, alcohol or sugar, I was pretty adamant in my belief that they were all INSANE.

But after my day of No’s and a particularly gluttonous month of food, drink and sweets, I am feeling so very bloated and blah. Thus the motivation to begin a cleanse. Clichéd perhaps, but also needed.

No sugar, alcohol, coffee, meat, dairy or gluten for me for 21 days. Hey, if you’re gonna cleanse, go big! Part of my brain is sing/yelling

INSANE IN DA MEMBRANE

INSANE IN DA BRAIN…

But mostly I’m just excited. I’m actually craving vegetables and excited to learn how to make green juices and smoothies. So I bought myself a boxing week deal on a juicer and once it arrives, I will begin Kris Carr’s Crazy Sexy Adventure Cleanse.

The ‘adventure’ part more intriguing then worrisome at this point, though ask me again on Day 3…

Reading through what it entails, I’m not so worried about lunch or dinner. Quinoa, beans, wild rice, salads and soups are regular meals in our home. It’s surviving the morning without coffee and PB on toast that is going to challenge me. And the after dinner wine or chocolate (or both!)

But it’s 21 days right? A chance to cleanse and adopt new habits and discover new loves. My goal is not to lose weight or become vegan or give up coffee forever (Lord NO!) My goal is to give my body 21 days to rejuvenate and adopt healthier habits that I can carry on at a more moderate level.

Wish me luck friends. Better yet, join me!

PS. If you’re a really good friend, please note that Bal may be calling. He is already lining up where he can camp out for 21 days of me without coffee… Depending on how scary it is, he may bring along the kids and the dog too! Screening your calls is totally justified.

Until you’re on day three never having left the house. Then it’s more lazy than cozy. Cabin fever strikes and you know that you need out of the house but you’re kind of this lump-a-lumpa that is finding it hard to move your butt from the perfectly contoured cushion you have created… Thank goodness for plans made before the three days and friends planning to meet you. Or we may never have left.

Fortunately we do. Off our butts, through the rain, to snow, sweet glorious snow and the great outdoors.

Oh hello fresh air! Nice to see you again. Apparently some of us needed an intake of oxygen as somebody (somebody named Daddy) dressed Brennyn in tights, pants, and snowpants but forgot one crucial layer… The diaper.

So poor B arrives to the great snowy outdoors, absolutely soaking wet. Which I only discover as I go to change her since the snowpants absorbed it from leaking outside. We get the diaper on, have a few giggles, and wait around while Daddy runs back to the car to get a change of clothes we were fortunate to remember what with our oxygen-deprived brains.After that, well, we have sleds, kids and snow. Life is good!Brennyn had no fear. Let me on, by myself, with someone, I don’t care, just on a sled and DOWN please!

Kaya too was jumping on her daddy’s back and her friends, backwards, frontwards upsidedownwards…

We all started politely enough. One at a time, sitting on our bums. But soon enough it turned into bumper sleds and pile-ups. When some whines arrive with some tears, we know it’s time to head to the lodge for lunch where we nibble on leftovers and our friends fudge. Mmmmm… Full of food and energy, we head back out for round two!Until we’re a good two hours past B’s naptime and though she wants to keep going, she looks like a Doctor Who Robot Santa (if you have not partaken in the Space channels Doctor Who marathon like I have, think mechanical and kinda crazy with a wee spark of Christmasy joy…) The big kids are fading too. And the biggest kids (aka adults) are dreaming of molded cushion lumps with beer and hockey. So it is that we end our fabulous day in the snow.

Since B asks me about once an hour to go ‘swedding pease!’ we will no doubt be back sooner rather than later. Looking forward to it!

But let me clarify too, that magical does not mean perfection. Perfect would mean there had been no family drama, no cooking mishaps and no sisterly battles. Which there most certainly was.

Fortunately, magic rises above all.

Sometimes magic is known by other names. Like giggles.

And the sillies.

Which is about when present #1 on Christmas Eve is opened.

Silly string, though messy and a wee bit stinky, is also brilliant at letting out the pent-up energy we call the crazies.

Magic comes along in other forms too. Like present shaking, sky watching and quietly whispering about our present to Santa so that he can’t hear us.

No doubt he did hear when my sweet, loving girl taps me on the leg and in a hushed tone tells me, “It’s okay if Santa thinks I was naughty this year because I already have enough presents under the tree.” Lessons in gratitude. And grace.

Sometimes magic is seen in quiet contemplation.

Other times, the joy of learning new things. Putting out food for Santa and the reindeer is very cool indeed!

The reindeer LOVED their waffle bowl of goodies.

Sneak-a-peeks are magic.Big giant wow presents too.Appreciation.

Content, happy play together.

And family moments.

All magic.

The brilliance of kids slays me. Why not wear your new fancy dress with your new cozy robe with your new pink earphones (that are not plugged in) to watch your new movie?

Oh, and we may as well throw in some afternoon popcorn too. Surely to become a new Christmas tradition in this household!After all that, I guess it is not magic at all is it? Magic implies mystery and the supernatural whereas this day is fully explainable. Joy, surprises, family, gratitude and novelty whirling and swirling together into Love.

Both nothing and everything magical about that.

We head outside too for a little GeoCaching Xmas gift depositing. Kaya bikes to the treasures while I run with B and it is very evident, before the new year even hits, that I am ready and willing to start exercising again!Last but not least, because I have no idea where this could ever fit seemlessly in a post, we have naked Santa showering. It just makes me laugh so hard. I may have posted about naked Santa last year as that is when he first arrived in the Lego advent. We are recycling Lego advent this year, and it came as just as much a shock, and delight, this time around.Both hilarious and disturbing. But mostly hilarious. Thank goodness for the black strip saving us from TMI.

‘There has been no better day in the history of days…’ projected Martin Luther King Jr. style.

This day was one of those days. When the skies are blue and the snow sparkles. When we are outdoors and collectively, our moods are great. Bonus that an entire day out and about in Whistler cost us just $15.

Bal got the day off and we headed to the new outdoor skating rink. Truly, it could have been disastrous what with me not skating in at least 20 years wearing my mom’s at least 20 year-old pair of skates, Brennyn never having been and Kaya kind-of-sort-of been a few times. Oh sure, there was no grace and beauty out there on the ice, but our effort made up for that. With smiles. Even a few giggles. Frustrated tears too but that didn’t deminish the overall fun factor.

Here’s Mommy pretending to help Kaya, though what is really happening is Kaya keeping Mommy upright. Just like riding a bike my ass…Before long, my girl ditched me though.Stranded, I wait for my next ride. She’s too determined to catch up to her big sis to give Mommy much notice however. Leaving me to screech at Bal to come take my camera so I don’t crush it in my impending crash. Which doesn’t happen but only because I grasp at will onto any person, fence or child within my flailing arms reach.

Fortunately, Brennyn is tired and hungry and I have an excuse to get off the ice. Though we narrowly escape the biggest fall of all when I try to lift her while still on skates to walk to our boots and my ankles collapse from under me. A tiny foreign woman saves the day but right then and there we plunk our bums down, take off our skates, and walk in our socks to our boots. Hilarious!

After skating and snacks, we head to the big snow mound for some sledding. Not put off by not actually having a sled, we make do with snowpants and bums. Old school style!Then just beyond the snow mound, the playground overlooking the skating and ski hill beyond.More snacks and we head indoors to the conference centre’s free play for kids. Could there be anything better than a giant room filled with bouncy castles? Only if it also has a giant bouncy slide.The adjoining room has mini golf.Next door to that, mini hockey.And when all those moments are filled inbetween with these kinda moments,there really is no better day in the history of days.

On the drive home, we get dessert,and a night cap when I am ID’d at the liquor store. It doesn’t even matter that I’m asked by a one-eyed teller (so my friends assure me!)

No better day I tell you.

Until the next no better day…

So it was totally necessary.

The reindeer, of course, are quite busy preparing for their forthcoming journey so we celebrated on their behalf, Rudolph still head of the table. Rudolph’s friends then sent presents to help with the birthday bash.

Dasher brought some foam sticker crafts,

While Dancer brought beads and bells for ornament making.

Prancer hid stickers in garland balls.

And Vixen livens things up with Christmas Crackers placed in a stocking.Comet brings some much needed mid play snack in the form of festive rice krispie squares, giving us the energy to compile some of Cupid’s favourite reindeer treats to leave out on Christmas Eve.Donner provides rolled up Santa Search and Find posters and Blitzen, well he forgot, so it’s a good thing the kids brought an ornament each for a gift exchange.

After that, there was food and strawberry shortcake and kids playing upstairs while the mamma’s enjoyed a Bailey coffees and chit chat.

The only thing I had envisioned happening that did not, was a little living room dance party by all the kids. Good thing my girls partook before the party in all their anticipatory sillies!Then again after, though a giddy laying-down exhausted dance.Fake birthday or not, friends coming together is always reason to celebrate!

JOY in 2011 for us:

Bal finished (survived) the 67km Test of Metal Bike Race.

Kari finished (survived) the Whistler Half Marathon.

Kaya is thriving in Kindergarten, performed her first dance on stage, ditched training wheels, lost 2 teeth and swims better than her mommy and daddy.

Brennyn’s first sentence was “Cool Man Motorbike!” as a Harley passed by and she has not stopped talking since. She’s in a big girl bed, on a big girl bike and does everything big sis does. Except peeing on the potty…

Family adventures this year included a crazy roadtrip (crazy fun!), discovering a love of dinosaurs, camping, treasure hunting, and countless outdoor explorations. We look forward to more of the same through 2012!

With Love & Joy,

Bal as Santa, Kaya as Rudolph, Kari as Frosty and Brennyn (in an eerily accurate portrayal) as the Grinch

XOX

Trying to get 4 people to coordinate 8 puppet-style pieces for ‘the perfect picture’ is not recommended if you do, in fact, want to experience Joy.

Especially if you are two and have no freakin idea what is going on and just want to go jump on the bed already! But she is perfectly Grinch so it all worked out in the end.She did try though.And when she abandoned ship, Kaya and I had some fun.The best part of these pictures, has been the girls playing with the pieces afterwards, making Fronta and Rudinch and the like. Then there was B coming in to cheer me up. And Kaya drawing, cutting out, and gluing her own, much better versions (Rudolph’s nose a balloon!)

My time and effort paying off, if not in the time I would like it too, certainly afterward and ongoing. Hopefully the same can be said for today’s Tree Decorating crafting class I took the girls to today. Fiasco!

Brennyn didn’t like the paint smell so spent the first half hour gagging and dry heaving and doing the ugliest hand print ornament decoration I ever did see. Then she got a smooshed hand by a dinosaur wielding boy also not interested in crafts. Glue brought on dry heaving session #2. She spilled a cup of water all over my jeans when slipping off her chair, bonking her head. While doing the last beading craft, Kaya was having a hard time and was frustrated and pissy and needed my help but I was too busy mopping up water and trying to craft Brennyn’s craft and then Kaya fell off her chair and was embarrassed on top of frustrated and it was all just one giant GONG SHOW OF MISERY! Oh my god, I should write a book with that title…

Which will become a bestseller and that will be my time and effort paying off in the end…

*SIGH* (It was more polite than the curse words I wanted to end with)